How to Deal With Child Contact Issues at Christmas
Christmas is a magical time of the year, filled with joy, laughter, and family traditions. However, for separated parents, dealing with disagreements over child contact during the festive season can be challenging and emotionally stressful. It is completely understandable that parents want to spend Christmas day with their children, but parents who live separately often struggle to reach an agreeable contact arrangement. This can cause significant distress for the child over a time that should be focused on their happiness and making positive memories. In this article, we will explain how best to deal with child contact issues over the festive period.
Plan festive contact arrangements early
Effective communication is essential to effective co-parenting, and this is especially so during the Christmas period. Begin by discussing your preferred contact arrangements for the Christmas period with your co-parent as soon as possible, even months ahead. If possible, try to put in place a clear and detailed plan that includes specific dates, times, and arrangements for where your child will stay. Being transparent about your intentions can help prevent misunderstandings and minimise the potential for conflict. Unfortunately, leaving this discussion too late may result in one parent starting to make arrangements for Christmas, including their child. That parent may then be much less willing to negotiate or change their plans.
Be flexible and compromise
Being flexible and compromising is essential when it comes to child arrangements at Christmas. Remember, this works both ways. One way to achieve flexibility is to alternate your plans each year, allowing you both to enjoy spending time with your child while establishing a fair and consistent routine that they can look forward to. If you show willingness to change your plans or allow your child to spend time with their other parent one year, the other parent is more likely to reciprocate the following year.
While it is important to have a clear plan for who your child will spend time with over the festive period and when sometimes best-laid plans can go awry, there may be travel disruption, illness, bad weather, family emergencies or other factors which mean that the agreed to plan does not go perfectly. In this case, it is important to be flexible. This may mean that you don’t have your child at the agreed time, or you may need to look after them unexpectedly. Being open to changes and finding common ground with your co-parent demonstrates a commitment to prioritising your child’s well-being over any personal grievances between you and the other parent.
Put Your Child First
It goes without saying that the focus of the holiday season should be on creating positive and memorable experiences for your child. In the heat of a disagreement, it can be all too easy to forget this. At all times, try to be mindful of your child’s needs and feelings, and strive to maintain a sense of normality during this special time. Encourage open communication with your child about the holiday plans and ensure they feel heard and valued.
Seek Mediation
As family law Solicitors, we know that despite best efforts, it is simply not always possible for both parents to reach an agreement on where their child should spend time at Christmas. In this situation, the first port of call should be to seek the expertise of a professional mediator. Mediation provides a neutral space for both parents to express their concerns and work towards a mutually acceptable solution. Thankfully, mediation services are readily available in the UK and can be a valuable resource in resolving child contact disputes. Not only is mediation highly effective, it is relatively affordable and typically leads to a resolution that allows both parents to remain on amicable terms in the best interests of the child.
Seek legal advice from a family law Solicitor
Sometimes, mediation is not effective or not appropriate. In this case, you should seek legal advice from a family law Solicitor. Consulting with a family law Solicitor can help you understand your rights and responsibilities, as well as explore legal avenues to ensure the best interests of your child are protected. Depending on the situation, your family law Solicitor may recommend a Child Arrangement Order (CAO). If a CAO is already in place, it may be necessary to request a variation (i.e. a change) to the order.
A Child Arrangement Order (CAO) is issued by a court and sets out exactly when, where, and with whom contact with a child should take place. This can include special arrangements for over the festive period or at other times of the year (e.g. during the summer holidays). However, it’s worth noting that not everyone may want to incorporate festive child arrangements into a CAO due to the desire for flexibility. If you and your ex-spouse have an amicable relationship and can cooperate for the well-being of your child, reaching an agreement outside of a formal order may be a more suitable option.
Where necessary, CAOs are extremely effective as the failure of one parent to adhere to the agreement is a breach of the law and may result in enforcement action by the courts. The courts have a range of enforcement options, including forcing the parent to comply, requiring them to attend a Separated Parents Information Programme, compensation, community work, fines, and even imprisonment in the most extreme cases.
Final words
Dealing with child contact issues at Christmas in the UK requires a thoughtful and collaborative approach between parents. Effective communication, detailed planning, flexibility, and a focus on your child’s well-being are essential elements in navigating the challenges of co-parenting during the festive season. By prioritising your child’s needs and working together with your child’s other parent, you can create a positive and memorable festive experience for your family.
If your child’s other parent is not willing to reach a fair and amicable agreement with you regarding festive contact arrangements, take action as soon as possible. Leaving the matter until December makes it more difficult to find a route to a resolution. If they are at risk of breaching a festive contact agreement contained in a CAO, we recommend keeping records as evidence, including SMS or WhatsApp messages and emails and then speaking to a family law Solicitor. Based on your circumstances, your Solicitor will recommend the best way forward to ensure that you can maintain contact with your child over this special time of the year.
To discuss your child contact matter, including festive contact arrangements, please call us on +44 161 224 4066.
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